The ego specializes in binary thinking. Life has to be one way or the other, and usually it focuses on the worst possible idea or outcome. But that is not truth. An infinity of possibilities always exists.
So in the midst of grief, having hope or a sense of rebirth seems impossible. But it is very possible and often exists alongside grief.
I am still living with grief, but hope has returned. I wasn’t “hopeless and helpless”, but definitely heavy and dark. And those moments will likely return. But "hope is a thing with feathers” because it lightens everything it touches.
Hope is not an emotion, it is a way of thinking. It involves having a goal, working towards it, and believing it can be accomplished.
Throughout my life, the hope in my calling has strengthened, clarified, and sustains me in even the darkest moments. It is indeed something that lifts me from the circumstance into a higher realm of consciousness. I rise from the heavy energy into my high heart, the realm of possibility and purpose.
We can hold both energies at once. We are that powerful. What is possible is to massage either one with our attention. What are you thinking about? What are you obsessing about?
There are times when we are pulled by the strength of one or the other, of course. For everyone, each grief is unique and the heavy spots will last as long as they last.
I’m not for a moment suggesting that you can think or intend your way out of grief. But you can relieve suffering in each moment as you choose where to put your attention.
A few months ago I had a vision of a curtain closing behind me. I could feel how everything is changing and an old way of life is behind me.
I have allowed that vision to take hold and speak to me about what is possible. It encourages me to not look back, to feel forward.
What is possible? What might be available to me that I haven’t considered? If I look around, what new energy am I aware of?
The dance is allowing my soul to pull me towards what makes me happy while honoring what comes up for expression.
I noticed in my subtle body, my energy body, that I could shift my focus to beauty and possibility and thus soften the grief. Which wolf will you feed, you know?
So I’m feeding hope and it’s growing. I’m feeding pleasure, rest, appreciation and joy.
Last week, a moment came of intense pain and sorrow, but it was cleansing. I allowed it to move through, and within a day I was feeling better.
My calling, my goals, give me hope. I feel them in my body. They will come to pass in Divine Timing, and as I align with them I feel more joy and peace. Now I’m learning that I have more control than I realized. I can feed the hope and peace and find more balance.
The ego that tells me I am only one thing or another is the liar and I keep calling that back to awareness. I am none of my experiences and am at choice as to how to be with all of them.
This is the power we all have. Amidst the pain, the confusion, the exhaustion, the deep love that fuels the grief, we still have a choice to love ourselves through it, to feel it all, and choose hope when Grace reminds of who we are and why we are here.
What hope lives in you? Even if it's only a flicker or a tugging on your heart, heed it. Feed it, and allow it to lift you.
So much love ❤️